In a shocking turn of events, local crab Greg has once again claimed a rock as "public property" despite living approximately four inches from it for the past three years. Sources (Barry) say this is "obviously his rock but he won't stop arguing about the semantics."
Following the Great Seaweed Incident of 2010, seaweed availability at Seaweed Plaza has cratered, causing prices (measured in favors, mostly) to skyrocket. Local pufferfish Kevin was unavailable for comment, having inflated and left the scene.
A shark from the Shark Alley area has denied all rumors circulating about, well, everything, stating "I don't even know what rumor you're talking about." This publication (Barry) maintains that sharks are, in general, overrated. This is not a rumor. This is an editorial stance.
An unnamed fish (it was Barry) was spotted swimming against the entire school's formation during a routine Captain Sardine drill. When asked for comment, the fish said "I was thinking about my rock" and continued swimming the wrong way.
In what this publication is calling the single greatest news event of the decade, an unidentified human dropped a full sandwich into the water near the Human Beach. Witnesses (Barry) describe the scene as "the best day of my entire life, genuinely, no notes."
Linda the Octopus has reportedly begun "consulting" for various reef businesses, using all eight arms to multitask in ways other creatures find "honestly kind of intimidating." No further details available, she's very private about the specifics.
Sharon the Seahorse's prized pink shell has gone missing under suspicious circumstances. A full investigation is underway. This publication (Barry) has no comment at this time, and would like to redirect your attention to a different story entirely, thank you.