ok this one is actually just true, i looked into it, but doesn't it seem WEIRD that a big rock in the sky controls when i can access the shallow reefs? who put the moon in charge? who elected it? i have questions.
greg thinks he owns several rocks. humans think they own boats that float ON the ocean. nobody has ever asked the ocean how IT feels about any of this. i think about this a lot. i don't have an answer. i just think someone should ask.
hear me out. they're smart. they're friendly (suspiciously friendly). they can jump OUT of the water and see what's happening up there, then come back down and pretend they don't know anything. that's basically a spy. i rest my case. see also: sharon's stolen shell, timeline suspiciously aligns with a dolphin sighting.
sandwiches. sunglasses. entire boots. one time a whole birthday cake (still my best day besides the sandwich day). is this on purpose? is it an offering? are we, without knowing it, in some kind of relationship with the surface world built entirely on dropped snacks? i don't hate it. i just want answers.
not talking about my plastic ring situation, that's different. i mean the ACTUAL net incident from years before my time, that everyone's grandma talks about but no one has details on. classic cover-up energy if you ask me. ask your grandparents. they know something.
see my blog post "why i hate aquariums" for the extended cut. short version: yes, probably, but with better lighting and a gift shop.
i have personally met one (see blog: "the day i saw a submarine"). it did not deny this when i asked. granted it also cannot talk. but it didn't deny it. i'm calling that a win for my theory.