the rankings change constantly. don't take it personally. (kevin, if you're reading this, take it personally)
RANKINGS SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE. LAST CHANGE: THIS MORNING. DUE TO: SEAWEED.
:3
#1 - Linda the Octopus
ONLINE

my best friend since forever. has 8 arms and therefore 8 opinions happening at once. she is always right and she will tell you this herself. we do everything together. she once helped me organize my rock collection using all 8 arms at the same time. iconic.
>:(
#2 - Sharon the Seahorse
AWAY

extremely dramatic, in a good way. she once cried for three days because a current moved her favorite piece of kelp. i love her so much. she gives the best advice even though she never follows her own advice.
o_O
#3 - Mr. Blub
HIDING

nobody knows what species mr blub is. not even mr blub. he showed up at Coral Avenue one day and never left. extremely chill. communicates mostly through bubbles.
:P
#4 - Captain Sardine
SWIMMING

leader of a small school of sardines. very militant about "formation." takes his job way too seriously for a fish whose entire job is "swim in a shape." respect though.
^_^
#5 - Deborah the Eel
ONLINE

shocking personality (pun intended, she made me say that). very sarcastic. we bonded over both being "kind of long and no one really knows why."
>:(
#6 - Kevin the Pufferfish
AWAY - PROBABLY MAD

WAS #2 BUT WE HAD A FIGHT ABOUT SEAWEED SO HE'S CURRENTLY #6. long time friend, short temper, inflates when startled (or insulted, or mildly disagreed with). we are working through it. see messages for the full argument.
:D
#7 - Greg the Crab
OFFLINE

sideways walker, big personality. claims ownership of several rocks that are not his. we argue about this constantly. still love him though.
o_O
#8 - Brad the Extremely Suspicious Shrimp
HIDING (as usual)

nobody trusts brad. brad has never done anything wrong. this makes it worse somehow. he knows things. he won't say how.
TOP FRIENDS DRAMA (updated whenever something happens)

THE KEVIN SITUATION: Kevin was my #2 for almost two years. Then, at Seaweed Plaza, he ate what I am pretty sure was MY seaweed, the good kind, the kind I specifically hide behind the third rock from the left. He says he "didn't know it was mine." There was no label, sure, but there's an UNDERSTANDING, Kevin. He got demoted to #6. He is aware. He has sent several messages about it. See inbox.

THE MR. BLUB MYSTERY: still ongoing. #3 spot, no complaints, no questions asked. this is how we like it.

THE BRAD SITUATION: Brad has been #8 for a suspiciously long time given how suspicious he is. I have thought about moving him. I have decided not to. He might know why. I'm not going to ask.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (not quite top 8, still love them): my cousin Gerald (RIP the air-breathing incident, he's fine now, mostly), the old whale who lives near The Deep and occasionally waves at me, and a very good rock that isn't technically a friend but has been there for me more than some people on this list.

FRIENDS I HAD TO REMOVE (RIP)

Kelvin the Clam - moved to a different reef, we lost touch, no hard feelings, he was never much of a conversationalist anyway (he's a clam).

That One Dolphin I Thought Was Cool - turned out to be extremely condescending about my swimming technique. see conspiracy page for more dolphin discourse.